It's All Too Much

I have been following social media and the news. It’s enough to make me want to crawl into bed and not come out. I call it “Punxsutawney-ing”. As an individual, a peaceful individual at that, it’s hard to make heads or tails of what I am supposed to do with all this information. Should I join in the voices who attacked a twenty year old woman for twerking, or go after the grown man for allowing it during his deeply misogynistic song, which on a side note makes me unhappy, because if it had different words I would like the song. It is reminiscent of songs from the 1970’s with the catchy beats. Syria gases its own people, so we as country feel obligated to do what? What exactly can we do without going into a situation and making it exponentially worse? My fear is what it always is, and if we go in there guns blazing, how will that save the innocent people now? How will dropping bombs, however targeted save lives? Is this another “greater good” situation that ends up being a quagmire? It looks vaguely familiar, so my fear level is way past red. Remember when we were color coded on fear? There is a man in Montana who was sentenced to thirty days for having sex with a fourteen year old girl, because “she was older than her chronological age”. She committed suicide. I could not help but feel like 1950 would rear itself from the past and ask for its outdated thinking back. North Carolina has their voting rights pulled so far back, that they are reminiscent of pre-civil rights era. Rowe vs. Wade has been over turned in several states going against women’s Constitutional rights, and even though we have had over 7,500 gun related deaths and it is still climbing we cannot have civil discourse about what to do about gun safety without zealots threatening to shoot us all. And let me not forget the murderous, torturous state Russia is in against gay people, a country, mind you, where we are going to celebrate the Olympics. I am sure you can see why I have a headache. It’s not too hard to understand why we mortals want to run and hide. Phil has no idea how lucky he is. As an adult, a fifty year old woman I am continually shocked at what is happening and how little it seems we have learned. About once a day, I can’t help but find myself thinking, “We are still here? How is this possible?” But alas, it is not only possible it is pervasive. My daughter, an adult as well, came to me disheartened about some things that are going on. What words could I use to soothe her? What could I possibly say that would have any impact on how she was feeling? The truth for me is I believe we are on the precipice of something that is either going to propel us forward or cause to fall amongst the craggy rocks. Either way, something seems to be afoot. Now while the knee jerk reaction I might have is to hide, to “Punxsutawney” myself away until it is all over, the peaceful driven side wants to help support those who seek real and lasting change. It’s an incredibly frightening world right now. The instability in the Middle East, the growing noise of hate and intolerance, it’s all a bit much. I have my own bag of hammers right now too, which is adding to my code red status. I have health issues, job issues, personal relationship issues, I have issues. So what is an experienced girl to do? As a singular individual it may seem that my options to add to the world are limited, but in truth, the simple decisions I make today may be something that starts the dominos falling in my favor. Here’s what I mean. Every time I encounter another human being I look in their face, I mean I really look into the eyes to see if they have something brewing far beneath their working exterior. It’s something I learned during my tenure as a nurse. Reading people is not as difficult as one would think. Understand this, when you see anger, what you are really witnessing is hurt. That person has been hurt in some way or another. Most outside emotions can be followed like a winding path back to some kind of hurt. There are many wounded people out there who are hanging by a thread. I have been where they are, where I have felt like a good stiff breeze would blow me away. Once you take the 15 seconds to see their eyes, to take them in, show them kindness and here is the key, expect nothing. This isn’t about you directly, so keep your expectations out of it. Be kind to every single person you encounter regardless of how they act towards you. I promise you, your success rate in seeing change will astound you. Not every heart will change. Not every person you are kind to will respond to you at all, but if you get one person who smiles back, or their face softens, or their shoulders drop, you are a success. Every person alive has stuff they dealing with, so in that vein, if we all acknowledge each other, see each other, remember to be kind, courteous, polite, respectful imagine how in a week things could change. Imagine how your mail lady now smiles glad to see you, or the maintenance guy is eager to help because he knows how grateful you are, or the cashier waves to you when she sees you enter the store. How can I be so sure that is how it will turn out? I have witnessed it. It’s the joy in being a woman of a certain age, is the experience in seeing the good in people. As a financial aid advisor I saw students who wanted to slit my throat on arrival, come back days later and apologize to me for being mean. These are the very young people you hear are cruel and thoughtless and self centered. I do not believe all that crap about the youth of today being worthless and lazy. That’s what they said about my generation too, so yeah, it’s crap. These young people who are in college, completely freaked out just want someone to look them in the face. That is all anyone wants is to be acknowledged, viewed as human, viewed as valuable. Since moving north I realized just how much I miss their faces, their special kind of crazy, their want to be cool, accepted, and adult. I miss them running down the hall at me full speed about knocking me down showing me their passing test grades, as they tell the astonished story of how they conquered a great fear. I miss the way they kept me young, and reminded me that the youth of today will be the very ones who can save us all. I miss the living, breathing hope. While I have nothing to add about the VMAs, since it has already been said a thousand different ways, and I hope my country does right by the world and also holds the UN accountable since we are not the world police, I have plenty to say about human rights. So basic a right as to be treated with dignity, with fairness, with accountability, and respect, so basic, it literally takes seconds out of your day. It really is all bit a much. But for me, there is hope, there are people every day standing up for what they know to be true not just for themselves but for all humanity, taking it one small act at a time. When faced with this big of a plate full, we may need to reduce it down to manageable bites. Go out today with no expectation other than to work on you and how you act and react. If you run into me today, just know I am going to be nice to you, for no other reason than I am just glad to have you here, with me, helping out. This place just wouldn’t be the same without you.