The Gift That Keeps On Giving

I have preached to my children the quote from scripture, "When I was a child, I thought as a child, but when I became a man I put away those childish things."

For the most part I have put away those childish things, but when it comes to the holidays, I am able in a moments notice reach back into the abyss that is my mind, now, and pull out my child like wonder. It is the gift I give myself every Christmas.

This year because of the economy and my lack of steady employment, we will not be buying any gifts except for our youngest child. The older kids got together and came to the agreement that since she is a senior and the last one still under age that any money spent should be on her. That was the gift my older kids gave to Mike and me, was their maturity and generosity and ability to see that the bigger gift we receive is often in the giving.

Michael decorated the outside of our home with Christmas lights and meticulously made sure that the timer was set and all was bright, so that I could enjoy them. That was his gift to me. He knows how much I love Christmas and the twinkling lights the glitter like the snow I miss so much. He drives me around once a week to see different neighborhoods and allow me to sit back relax and sink deep into my contentment.

I speak to my parents often. Although this year they could not come to Texas, I am able to dial their number and within seconds hear their laugh and talk for hours if that is what we wish to do. I miss them so very much this year, but the gift of their love and understanding is something I have gotten everyday this season.

My house looks exactly like I had always dreamed it could at this time of year. For no money, I reinvented many of our decorations and am able to get up every morning and just look at them, so happy and filled to the brim with joy. Even as the time draws nearer for us to display the "For Sale" sign, I can't help being happy I got this time with our house.

I am blessed beyond words, thoughts, or feelings. Things did not turn out at all what I had originally planned for this holiday season. No parents visiting, no kids coming home, no presents under the tree, all non-existent except the feeling of how lucky I am to love people so much that when I can't see them it makes my heart ache. The tiniest things I may have over looked in recent years have bubbled to the surface in order for me to feel the kind of peace that other spend their lives looking for.

The gifts I have already gotten this holiday season reassure, my sometimes weary, soul that all is far from lost. Sometimes the greatest gifts are the ones we don't even know we want.