Tuesday, December 1, 2009

I Still Believe!


It's Christmas time again and I am busy doing very non-Christmas-y things. It's not my usual routine, but I am doing what needs to be done. I am squeezing in my favorite movies and playing Christmas music while I work in order to keep my spirit up and in holiday fashion.
I love Christmas. I always have. It is a time of year when everyone seems nicer, more tolerant of each other, more generous and kinder all around. It's the time of year when my hopefulness reaches it's year long high, the kind of high that drug addicts search their whole life for and all I have to do is hum a Christmas carol.
I have spent my entire life watching this season and being completely and utterly awestruck by the miracles that happen everyday, often times without a single other soul noticing. In a time when there are so many people searching for fame and fortune often times at their own peril, I see so many folks do the most miraculous things without so much as a thank you all season long.
I still believe in Christmas miracles. I still believe in the spirit of Santa and giving of our hearts and minds and strength to those who have so much less, even when we ourselves don't seem to have a whole lot. I have watched my family witness miracles of faith, miracles of money and miracles of kindness.
Every year I pray for a Christmas miracle. Every year I am fortunate to witness one, even if it is not anything I requested or sought for myself or my family. In that solitary moment, I realize how very lucky I am to have seen something so amazing, so wonderful come true.
I am once again asking for my Christmas miracle. I do ask for gifts for my family and for myself. I do ask for "things". I think it's always OK to ask. I do not aways get what I ask for. Sometimes I get nothing at all, and that is OK, too. I consider it, asked and answered. If I see that my Christmas miracle isn't about me, then I really begin watching all around me to see what it is that I am being shown. The truly glorious part of the season for me is the not knowing where and how the miracle will come. I get as anxious as a child on Christmas Eve. I feel those giddy, warm, bright feelings of hopefulness that anything can happen if I just believe. I feel exactly like I did when I was five years old and believed mind, body and soul that Santa was riding to my house in his sleigh bringing me presents wrapped in beautiful, shiny paper with a perfectly appointed bow. He would fill the bottom of our tree with presents for everybody and give them just what they asked for. Santa would magically do in a single moment what we as a family wanted the most, being all together.
I have friends and family that have stopped believing. I see the vacancy in their eyes and the cynicism that has made it's mark in wrinkles on their brow. I pray for them the hardest. I pray to forgo my own Christmas wishes if need be, so that they can see for a brief moment that hope and miracles are still very much alive and with us.
This season as I make my wish list and begin my vigil of looking for this year's miracle, I wish you all a happy holiday season, filled with wonderful unexpected surprises, the deep love of your family, warm hugs from dear friends, delicious food that sweeps you back to the days of being as innocent as a child, and most of all to witness your own Christmas miracle. They are all out there, if you only just believe!

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