Finding the Bottom and Working Your Way Up

I was thinking about how I have had to work my way through being unemployed, and what's that meant for my personal, emotional state. I have 2 someones close to me, very close, mind you, who have been going through something very similar. I have watched these young adults get creamed by the economy and some attempts to help others, who have taken advantage of them. The inevitable phone calls are gut wrenching and I listen as they tell me the latest saga of getting wiped out by an other's inability to understand the importance of money. Money is power, but it is also energy. Those who do not have money realize very quickly how drained they are just to stay afloat. People who are not living in fear, are quick to tell those who are that money isn't everything. It's true enough, but when you on the bottom, it's hard to feel anything but terrified about living day to day. Money buys food and shelter. It buys insurance for your car, lights for your home and communication for the outside world. Money isn't everything, but it's not nothing. It's to be respected for the power that it yields. To me that is the lesson. My young people are finding out the hard way, that not everybody gets that they are supposed to show respect and gratitude for what they have and what they are given. As others take and take and take, without any forethought to what might happen to the person they are taking from, I watch my young ones fall further and further down the rabbit hole, all because they wanted to help someone they thought was in dire need.

I know why folks get cynical about helping anybody, because we have all been taken at one point in our lives or another. We have these really good intentions that somehow get twisted and distorted and bent so badly they are no longer recognizable. Becoming cynical and jaded is not inevitable, however I do think it's important to step back and look at where everything went horribly wrong. Finding out what is helpful and what is is going to be the equivalent of tying an anchor around one's neck needs time to be figured out. I don't think "The road to hell is paved with good intentions". That makes charitable people sound naive and slightly stupid. I think the road to hell is paved with good intentions with no plan, follow through and ability to see clearly who it is you are trying to help. I am more of a "God helps those who help themselves", kinda girl. Don't get me wrong I am all about the charities and generosity, but in the event of a plane crash or personal crash, one has to put their own oxygen mask on first.

My fear for my young ones is not that they will not recover, that is why this old relic is still around, to help them back onto their feet, but rather that they will from this point on view the world and the people in it through dark glasses that won't allow the light to come in. I feel compelled to prop them up long enough for them to see not everyone will "screw them over". Not everyone will take advantage without conscience and leave them for dead. For one of my young ones that is exactly what has recently taken place. My job is to try and get them turned around, so they realize it is not selfish to care for one's self. It is not selfish or childish to be mindful everyday to do what is necessary to re-fuel one's mind, body and soul. The lesson for folks who are natural givers is a tough one. I don't know of a single person in my life who hasn't gone through it. I can honestly say I know some really lovely people who never recovered from being "taken" and now live very guarded lives. It's heartbreaking because all they wanted to do was help someone out of a bad situation and they got drug under the sea of crap the other person was living in.

I have no advice as to how you know who is going to receive the help and one day show the respect and gratitude they should. Here's what I do know: I know that not everybody knows what to do with help they get and if you can't afford to give it free and clear, then don't. I know that I cannot be changed by others bad behavior and will continue to do what I can for those who are in dire straights. And I know that the folks who are takers will have their day when all they have been given will fall firmly on their heads and they will receive exactly what they dished out. In the mean time, I will prop up my young ones and keep my hand extended to them as they fight their way out of the dark waters of heartbreak. So I may be unemployed, but I have a job as a flotation device and I am more than happy to do it.