Dear Kellie

Dear Kellie,
My son was dating a girl 5 years ago and she became pregnant. Against my son's wishes she had an abortion and they broke up.

I still have feelings of anger, resentment and grief. I now have a beautiful Grandson, but instead of making these feelings subside they seem to have gotten stronger.

I find myself thinking about what sex the baby would have been, and what it would have looked like.

My question: Is this a delayed part of the grieving process, or is it starting to take on a life of it's own and becoming an obsession?

Heartbroken in Ohio


Dear Heartbroken,
I understand your grief and you have a right to feel the deep sadness that comes from the loss you have suffered. The fact that you are worried that it is becoming too overwhelming may mean it is time to try and start to let go. I do think that we sometimes grieve when we have the comfort of the shock and tragedy behind us. Give yourself a break and allow your heart to feel the pain. If this starts to consume most of your time, then maybe it is time to seek professional help in dealing with the anger. We all have times in our life when the unfairness, when situations beyond our control, haunt us and we have to find our way out. It is important to forgive others in order to save ourselves from time wasted dwelling on what we cannot change. Time doesn’t heal all wounds, what it does is allow for perspective. When you start to feel the anger take over, my suggestion is to go and spend time with your grandson, living in the now and appreciating the ability to love, teach and cherish a child.



Dear Kellie,
My company is moving to another city, and I don't want to. Should I move and be miserable for money, or stay and be poor and possibly be happy?
Jungle Boy


Dear Jungle Boy,
Since you didn't mention the time frame, I will assume you have at least some time to consider all of your options. When I was forced to change careers I felt a deep sense of loss of self, however, I also discovered a talent for what I love to do the most and am completely fulfilled doing it.
If time allows, update your resume and spend some time thinking of what you love and hidden talents you may be able to turn into a career. This may very well be an opportunity for you to work in an area that makes you happier than your current position.
If you are concerned about benefits, retirement and money, then I suggest you talk to your other co-workers and see if anyone else is in the same position, where buying real estate in the new city is not what they intend to do. Shared housing, and commuting until you can see things more clearly may be the way to go.
I will tell you that some of the most difficult experiences allow for the largest amount of growth.
Take the time while you have it to ask yourself the big questions. What makes me happy? What is the worst thing that can happen if I commute? If retire now, what talents do I have to help me financially survive?
My biggest piece of advice is- don't panic. Think things through thoroughly and ask your company for as much information as you can to make the best decision for you.



Dear Kellie
I am confused which way that toilet paper should unroll. Some folks say under and say folks say over. I once saw at one high-priced hotel that it was under so it would unroll from underneath. I am totally confused about the correct way toilet paper should unroll from the roller. Can you clear this matter up and help me to win a bet ??

Dazed & Confused in Dixieland


Dear Dazed and Confused,
We should all be so lucky to have this as our conundrum. My advice is to put the toilet paper on the roll however makes you the most comfortable. It is these little choices we get to make, that make having our very own place simply the most marvelous of things.



Dear Kellie
I'm 16 and pregnant and my parents have kicked me out and I'm living on the street. Lately I have broken back in to my parents house and stole money from my mothers purse to feed by baby. Is what I'm doing wrong? My cousin think...s it isn't wrong but then again he threatens to tell unless I give some of the stolen money to him so he can buy crack. What do you think?

Confrused in Central Arkansaw


Dear Confused,
Of course it is wrong to steal. I understand your dire circumstances, however the situation you find yourself in is due to decisions that you and you alone have made. You made an adult decision and now you have to be an adult, ready or not. There are social programs you can pursue through school and church. There are usually shelters in every major city across the country, so if you live near Little Rock, that may be your first step. Find your nearest hospital and see the social worker on staff. They may be able to direct you to immediate help in your area.
As far as your cousin, let him tell. No one trusts a drug addict anyway, so they might not believe him. If they do, then let the chips fall where they may. Good luck.




Dear Kellie I have always had trouble asking for advice, can you help me?
CW


Dear CW,
You just did.
Congratulations you are cured!

Dear Kellie,
Why do people feel it is okay to be rude and insufferable on Social Networking pages. I am often dumbstruck by the crudity and meaness.
BR Az




Dear BR,
As great as the information highway is for learning everything under the sun and connecting with old friends, I also think it can be a very cruel and dangerous place.
Without having to allow for face to face contact I believe it deceives people into a false sense of courage to make remarks they would not make if they were in person.
It seems the internet allows for thoughtlessness and abject cruelty as a means of expression. People also forget that what goes on the internet stays on the internet indefinitely.
My suggestion is to let folks know you are not OK with any nasty or mean spirited talk on any of your social pages. You have the right to "Un-friend" anyone who makes you uncomfortable with their rhetoric.
I know from personal experience that I have to had to delete certain people in order to maintain my happy homepage.




Thanks to everyone for writing in. Keep those questions coming.