What If?

I was thinking, well, about a lot of things lately. The economy, the bone headed leaders in our nation’s capital, Mike’s job moving to Chicago, me starting over in a new job that is completely out of my comfort zone, you know all the scary stuff that stops one in their tracks and makes them think the world is coming to an end as they know it. I was sitting having long talks with Michael, going to Farewell parties for our friends who are moving into different jobs in different places, watching our own children face a very daunting future, when it occurred it to me, what if all this worrying, all this hand wringing is wrong?
Here in Texas we are very tied to our Latin history, those who came up from their original Mexican heritage, one of the six flags we flew under so long ago. There are many here who are terrified of 2012, due to the Mayan prediction that this, what we think we know to be true will end. I have heard many variations of the theory of what will transpire on that fated day when things cease to be as they are now. Many describe December 21, 2012 as a dooms day that will end the lives and loves of their heart.
"Both the Hopis and Mayans recognize that we are approaching the end of a World Age... In both cases, however, the Hopi and Mayan elders do not prophesy that everything will come to an end. Rather, this is a time of transition from one World Age into another. The message they give concerns our making a choice of how we enter the future ahead. Our moving through with either resistance or acceptance will determine whether the transition will happen with cataclysmic changes or gradual peace and tranquility. The same theme can be found reflected in the prophecies of many other Native American visionaries from Black Elk to Sun Bear." — Joseph Robert Jochmans
What if the future, the complete unknown is better than today? What if all the panic about change is wrong? What if John Lennon really was a prophet and got it right when he wrote “Imagine”? What if, and bare with me for a minute, all the current regimes that are toppling over, all the people of the world who are now more connected than ever start really seeing each other as humans rather than races, or religions, or adjectives, but rather with real faces, and beating hearts and souls with the capacity for love? What if just for a moment, the smallest increment of time we could consider the possibility that this scenario is our new world order?
I was pondering the incredible freedom I have acquired at times in my life when it seemed all hope was lost. But because I was no longer tethered to what I considered then to be right, I was actually allowed to be more, bigger in ways I never thought possible. Had my own heart not been shattered, I fear I would not recognize it, and empathize with it like I do in others. Had my life been easier, more affluent, I would not appreciate what I have, and I would not be able to let others know of my certainty that change is not only good, but sometimes it saves your life.
I’m human, so changes, big scary changes reduce me to a puddle sometimes, too. The very notion of living day to day without my beloved Michael makes me physically sick. My initial response to having my family ripped apart was that of anger, bordering on hatred. My gut wrenching anguish is what I began to fear more than the change. Here is what I know for sure: I know we don’t always get what we want when we want it, but that doesn’t mean we will never get it. Dreams don’t always come true in the form we think they should, but if we let the dust settle sometimes different dreams, bigger dreams show themselves when we stop trying to control everything about the future. Sometimes, letting go of all of our ties to the past can release us, so that we can do and be so much more than the piece of meat encased in our skull will allow for.
What if all the negative energy that seems so vast in the now, gets sucked into a vacuum that self destructs on 12/21/2012 and what we have left is compassion, decency, kindness, acceptance and love? Tomorrow, before you truly start your day, ask yourself, “What if?” Try, just try and think of what your world would be like if the world turned out to be so much more than we could have ever dreamed? It’s what I will be thinking as I drift off to sleep tonight. Those beautiful thoughts, prayers for my family and the love of my life sleeping next to me will ensure a peaceful sleep, and a full heart.