Full Circle

I was sitting here thinking of what I could write that would make sound as if I have had some sort of insight as of late. What have learned lately? What new and interesting ideas have I had? Needless to say, I was having some trouble on that front. Nothing much for me has changed. My life, in it's current state, seemed very much the same...except there have been some interesting things I have noticed. Mike had his beloved bike stolen. It was a top of line, hybrid he saved for years in order to get. We both felt really bad and figured we would have to write it off as a gift to charity, when suddenly we got a call from the police department that someone had turned it in and he would have to identify it at the police property room. There was a match and he will soon be able to pick it up. Now, we do not know what condition it is in, but someone had turned it in, so an honest person, had done the right thing. Our youngest, the one who had a broken foot after a terrible accident, the one who was terrified of driving because she had lost friends to an accident, got her license. Not only does she now drive, but she has her very own car to do it in. I am the one who remains a little scared, but she is 20 years old and it is definitely time. Mike and I had been downtown when we had seen that one of our favorite haunts was closed down. Saddened by the loss of another place we liked being taken, we figured, from the down economy, we gave up looking for another one like it. Mike was having to fill out paper work for his bike when he noticed it had moved across town and was not closed at all. Little things keep popping up, small acts that impact our small lives keep showing up, giving us something to smile about. For me, I discovered something wonderful. I met a young woman, who had been a battered wife. She was a single mother with a small child who had gone into the college for help. She was going back to school. When I first met her she looked down, tired, beaten. I gave her all the financial aid advice I had to give and I looked her square in the eye. I took all of her in, seeing myself, not that long ago, just trying to keep it together. Recently, I saw her again. She had color in her cheeks. She smiled easily and although she was still tired, she was doing what she had to do in order to build a better future for her and her child. She is a massage therapist, like I used to be. She is a single mother, like I used to be. We made plans for her to come to my house for massages, this time I will be getting one rather than giving one. I had come full circle. "You remember me?" she asked stunned. "Oh, yes, I still pray for you. I have prayed for you since we first met. I will never forget your eyes and your face. I have been willing my strength to you since I last saw you," I said. She looked at me so shocked. "I can't believe you remembered who I was." I put my hand on her back, "I knew what you were facing. I have been you. I wanted you to know one day you would be happy again, and you will." There is a shift, albeit a slight one, there is definitely a shift going on in my life. Last week I got to do some things at work I just love doing. I got to talk to prospective students. It is my very favorite thing to do. No one, and I do mean no one, believes in higher education more than I do. I have been pushing that on my own kids and their friends since they could walk. I am legitimately excited about people going back to school. I had so much fun talking to the high school kids about college, even with a subject matter as dry as financial aid. It's my thing, right down to my shoes. I know they feel it, too. I know when I connect with them, when they see how much I believe what I am saying. I am not so much selling the school as I am telling them about my passion for education. I believe education isn't something, it's everything. I got sick at the end of the week with a fever and hacking cough. I got a full on chest cold that had me curled into a ball on the couch for several days. I ached, couldn't breathe and my head felt like it weighed a thousand pounds. Today, I felt almost normal. I still break into the occasional body wracking cough, but I am up and around and even went to the grocery store. My newly formed attitude of curiosity about the shift, well, it is comforting to me. I fell inside much better than my outsides would show. Michael's moving date is looming very close in the future. I began crying on my way to the store, in my car. I stopped myself before it all got out of hand. I tried to reassure myself with the newly noted shift. I began a prayer in my head, hoping God could take a moment and listen to my heart. "Please let him stay. Please allow this to work out and us be together. 'Let no man put asunder'". My world that has been so out of kilter, for a few moments, several times this week things were put right again. I got to witness goodness an several different levels of my meager existence. There enough of them I could take solace and have a patch of peace. My grandmother used to say, "You have forgotten who you are" when she would see me come close to giving up. Not to worry, Grandma, I am not going to give in just yet.