Common sense with curiosity and good advice with crazy hair
Sunday, September 2, 2012
An Open Letter To My Sons
To my darling boys, loves of my life, breadth of my very soul, you have made me so very proud, so very happy, and so ultimately privileged to have you in my life. For decades now, I have had you in my life every day, seeing you grow, watching your successes, your failures, your heartbreak, and your abounding love. It seems unimaginable to me, that we will be apart. I have tried for days to wrap my brain around letting you go, allowing you to fly as you need to, yet feeling my heart hurt thinking of your absence. I know, cognitively I know, that this must be for now. I have seen how much you need to move on, move through me, to be the men you were born to be. It is my greatest hope that I am never the one who holds you down or back or keeps you from the future you have earned and desire. It is impossible for me to even think I could be happy not seeing you, sharing your world, having long talks on the patio about big life decisions, but even the most impossible at times must become possible in order for you to continue your journey.
While it’s true this makes the tears fall down my face, know in your heart that I love you too much to want anything but the very best for you. I want you to be happy; above all else, you deserve to be happy. So not only will I not stand in your way, but I will assist you in your journey any way I can. That is the very description of motherly love, to allow your children to grow to their full potential in order for them to be happy, fulfilled, and loved. You are such good men, kind men, decent human beings. I am proud of how you have chosen those things, on your own. I have tried to teach you all I know, when I think about it, it could fit in a thimble. I tried my level best to show you the love I was always certain you deserved. I tried to be both mother and father after your father was no longer here to show you how to be a man. I married a man who I was certain loved you and would support you in your life. He loves you so much. He too is so very proud of you and this big leap you have decided to take for yourselves.
The days you were born were some of the happiest of my life. You were born perfect. You both immediately bonded to each other, so it is no surprise that this journey is one you will make together. And that too makes me happy.
This is my best piece of advice for you as you go off on your own: Be kind to yourself. Guard the life I have guarded so long. Forgive your transgressions, and allow yourselves your humanity. You must first own love in order to truly give it to others. Do not accept others negative or hurtful remarks or actions. It means nothing and has nothing at all to do with you or who you are. Let go of any hate mistakenly thrown your way. To hold on to it will only hurt you and use up your future. Do not waste your time on it. Remember, it means nothing. Be kind to those who have less in love, money, or life. It is in our decency to others that we show our true character. Be who you were born to be. Find compassion for those in need. Give to the poor, teach the ignorant, and help the helpless. You were born to be leaders of men; you will accomplish this by showing the world how a real man behaves. Say how you feel, follow your instincts and love deeply, even if it means getting hurt. Regret comes from not participating in your own life. Be fearless in your life; it is the one and nearly the only thing that ever truly belongs to you. Live as if failure were impossible. Speak thoughtfully, listen frequently, and take the time to enjoy the now. Revel in your friendships, laugh out loud in theaters, sing in public and dance in a parking lot under the lights and stars (I promise you, in the winter, you will feel the magic of it to your bones.)
Remember where you came from. Those who paved this wonderful road for you did so out of love, hope and the promise of better days ahead. Take time to spend with family, and learn the history of them. Be the sponge in the room and listen closely to the stories. They are stories you will one day pass along to your own children. Respect the sacrifices of your grandparents, parents and yourselves. Make this time in your life count. Create your own future. See it in your mind’s eye and then take the steps to see it through to completion. I believe mind, body and soul that you can accomplish anything you choose.
Most importantly, remember that I have loved you every day of your life and will love you for eternity, for love like the one I hold for you have no bounds from time or space or earthly laws. And look for the pennies. They are out there, and if you pay attention they will speak to you. Your father continues to love you from where he is.
God speed my darlings, my loves. May God hold you in the palm of His hand until we meet again.
Yours now and always,
Author of "Advancing Backward", available on Amazon.com.
My work history is in health care. I started my career in Hospice and then went into geriatric care as a nurse. I worked as a nurse for over 20 years. I retired when I moved across country. During my time as a nurse I went back to school and became a Licensed Massage Therapist. I have dedicated the last year to writing full time. I have always written , since I was a child. The career change has been a good one for me. I am married with 4 kids. I lived as a single mother for over 7 years. I like to laugh. I will do whatever archeological dig is necessary to find the funny.