Monday, September 21, 2009

A Fool's Paradise

The saying goes, "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread." I get that. I have my time where I have and still rush head long in with the best intentions only to get squashed like a bug. And let's be honest here, I am no angel. But I can't help but wonder how lightly to tread, and where the line of being too cautious lies.

Some of the best things I have ever done or received was because I was the big dork who wasn't afraid to ask. Had I been cautious or tiptoed into the situation I would never have have gotten to do so many things. I freely and joyfully admit that I am a blurter, who throws myself out into the world trying to do things that are way out of my element. I go in with best intentions. Sometimes people recognize the good in me and sometimes, more rare than not, they don't. Either way I go in and at least try. Am I a fool for trying? Probably, but I still can't reconcile within myself that there has to be a detailed plan for every attempt. Sometimes I think I have to throw myself out into the wind and see what I come up with. Flying by the seat of your pants takes a certain amount of bravery, but more than that it takes stamina. Tenacity, I think is a virtue that is greater than patience. I never ask to receive patience when I pray, fearful that lessons will come my way that require me to have more of it. I feel as if I have plenty of patience and utilize it often. I don't pray for tenacity, either. I have that in spades, too. When I get an idea in my thick noggin, I am like a dog with a bone. What I pray for is opportunity. It is believed that good luck is the combination of opportunity meeting preparation. I tend to agree. Those who are prepared are the one's who get the jobs, houses and great deals. Everybody has a moment in their life when they missed out on something because they weren't prepared enough. It's good to be the boyscout and be at the ready for what may come your way.

But what about when opportunity knocks and you're naked, dripping in the hallway because you forgot your only towel at the beach and your only clean clothes are still in the washer down in the basement of your apartment building? What then? I say pull out your "The Emperor With No Clothes" face and go for it. Pretend you have the most beautiful outfit on and fake it until you make it. Have I done this? Yeah, not literally of course, but I have thrown open the door and let the cards fall where they may. Look, sometimes it's disastrous, truly, but sometimes I get something so great, I never knew I wanted. The disastrous parts are usually only painful to my ego, as if I flung open the door only to have Opportunity physically wince at my appearance. It stings, but so far I haven't died of embarrassment, yet.

For the big things in life, I think I need to try and be more angelic. My marriage, raising my kids, buying a house, speaking to people, even the writing I do here and in my book(s) all require a certain amount of tiptoeing with angelic feet. I also feel that if I hadn't been the fool who giggles inappropriately or rushed in to help someone or even grabbed onto an opportunity that was way beyond my current knowledge, I may have missed out on so much. Every time I say, "I am an author', I laugh and turn red. It seems ludicrous to me that I actually wrote a book, let alone the fact that so many people have come to me and said they liked it. I get "fan" mail from folks who have read the book and it inspired them to remember their own stories. The letters I have gotten are deeply touching and I can't express enough how grateful I am to get them. I plan to keep every one in a scrapbook with the rest of my book paraphernalia. Had I not thrown myself out into the publishing world I would have none of the wonderful, heartfelt experiences I have had in the last year. Although I had written forever, I had very little knowledge of the computer and spent much of the last year learning how to navigate the Internet. Still, the knowledge I have could be stored in a thimble. What I knew about the publishing world was even less. If I hadn't been such a fool, so naive as to believe this might all work out, I may have missed out on finishing the book I dreamed of writing.

I wish for all of you today- a fool's bravery to try the unexpected, a pair of angel wings that enable you to take flight into your own dreams and a pair of sturdy chukka boots in case it all turns to crap.

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