Red Letter Day

Yesterday was the kind of day where all I wanted to do was find the people who were making my life so hard, when it didn't need to be, tie them to a chair, playing Christopher Cross songs at high volume until they cracked. Yesterday was an all day affair of idiocy. Simple solutions were right there in front of every one and for the life of them, they couldn't see them. It was the kind of day where I became more and more frustrated by the banking system, leasing system and dissolutioned that anyone in charge has a brain in their head. One of our kids is being "attacked" by all this as well.
It was a ridiculous day where I felt my temper get the best of me. I began seeing red. That used to be a metaphor for me, but now that I am aging and the blood vessels are popping in my head, I believe it to be more of a symptom. I was angry. I am usually pretty good at stepping back and looking at the bigger picture, but yesterday, I began to lose sight of anything but the amount of unnecessary garbage that had been heaped upon my head.
I am not a fan of this summer. Somewhere there is a giant "dislike" button and I am going to find it and click it telling all who know me that this summer has been a giant disappointment.
It didn't have to be this hard. There is no real reason for all of the stuff we have had to sift through to happen. In the great scheme of things this will fade away into one of the many crevices in my brain never to be acknowledged again. I do know that it will all go. But, for now I am having to restrain my want, not need, to go kick some verbal butt.
Our apartment complex is giving us a hard time about moving out. They are turning it into a hostage crisis. Our mortgage company is giving us a hard time over paperwork they "need" or have or want or, heck I don't even know anymore. What I do know is the processor has bobbled this account several times and sounds like a 15 year old girl when she talks. I like, need, like,..." You get the idea. If she has a degree from some college, she should sue, because she obviously hasn't learned a thing.
Between bad neighbors at Apartmentistan, wild dogs, relentless paperwork,kids who need help, cramped quarters, heat stroke, and a constant battle against bugs I am pretty sure are from the dark ages, Mike and I have had quite enough, thank you very much. There is much more, but if I continue to list it I may have to be secured in a padded room.
I feel slightly uncivilized. I am surrounded by an insurmountable heap of indecency, ignorance and arrogance. When that stuff comes from my young adult kids, I forgive them because they are figuring out their coping skills and still learning.But when it comes from people who are in business, I find it hard to understand what the hardship is, in being a professional.

What to do, what to do. Well, at my age if I get mad and go off on somebody I could possibly cause bodily harm, to myself not to them. If I keep it all in I could give myself a coronary, burst a blood vessel or worse, such as take it out on inanimate objects that we own. I like our stuff and we have worked hard for it, so that won't do.
What I am currently doing is praying all day everyday. Some cynics will think this does nothing. For me what it does is give me an occupation so I feel like I am doing something. I also think it gives God a chance to come up with a better solution than I ever could, obviously. I handle what I can, and pray about the rest. My verbally abusing people won't help and will ultimately be as a satisfying as a sneeze.
I have watched karma at work. I have actually seen it take place, reducing others to a sniveling puddle of drool. Since I have witnessed such things, I know I have the patience to wait this out. I also know I am accountable for what I say and do, and that karma knows where I live too.
I am allowed to feel the burden. I am allowed to feel angry and hurt and overwhelmed. I am allowed to wish people to grow up. I am allowed to do this, so I shall. What I need to do at this point is to breathe, check my temper at the door, be civil, and stand up for us without leaving us open to a plateful of crap to be dished out by karma at a later date.
Yesterday was a red letter day in that I only saw red for about 4 hours. I will say, that in the midst of chaos I was able to look at my kids, my husband, my pets and feel real gratitude that nobody is hurt or sick or worse. Yesterday was bad, but not as bad as certain days I have lived through before. I woke up today just happy that yesterday is merely a memory and a story that I have the ability to tell.