This Love of Mine

Some love stories are loud and epic, some are quiet and strong, some are about a destiny that cannot be denied, Mike and I are "D" all of the above. I knew from the time I was a child I would find someone who would just "get" me, someone who would not only understand who I was, but who would love me for the very stuff that made me unique. I didn't know what he would look like or how we would meet, I just knew one he would show up and I would know exactly who he was. He did indeed show up, and I did know, instantly, immediately and I knew that one day he would know, too. We aren't really a loud couple as in noise, but certainly in laughter, great bursts of bawdy laughter that fill our house. We are epic to each other and scenery. Every vacation we have ever taken has provided us with perfect weather, the kind of perfect that photos cannot capture, the kind of perfect that if you were not able to witness it for yourself, you would never believe it were true. The strength of us is in our unified purpose, our goals and effort together. We have the kind of marriage that takes our breath away, even now, after all these years. I know him. I know every inch of him, able to discern when he is not himself when others would never notice the subtle change. He knows me, the way I feel, the way I need, love and want. It took very minute of every year we have had together to have that kind of carnal knowledge. It hasn't been easy, this love of ours, but it has been the most rewarding relationship either of us have ever had. It's simplicity is in it's acceptance. It's complications come in waves as each of us evolves closer to who we were meant to be, and in this mix of emotions, objective cognitive thought lies the heart of who we are together. Our love story is about being together, experiencing each other as we experience life. It's about laying all of our cards on the table and admitting when we are weak, standing tall supporting the other when we are strong, and knowing that the time we have together is the most precious gift we will ever receive. This love of ours, well, it's so incredibly delicious, so delectable in all it's nooks and crannies of what constitutes a marriage. Unlike the flat cards that represent today, what we are to each other is three dimensional, revealing layers and layers of who are. I was against ever getting married again. I had proven without doubt I was not marriage material. Mike and I talked for a very long time about what I had learned and if I was even capable of trying to do this institution thing again. I viewed marriage as a life sentence with no hope of parole. My married name was what I like to call my slave name, as if I had been bought and paid for by a diamond ring. My view of marriages I had witnessed was dim. I had no want to belong to someone other than me. I didn't want to give my heart away. I wanted it safe and secure in my own chest. I love all things romantic, but had begun to see where it all fell short in the reality of a life. So hearts and flowers be damned, I felt I was better off dating with no vision of a white dress. When Mike proposed, I accepted without hesitation. The hesitation came later for me when wedding talk became real. I had wanted to be engaged for years. Mike wanted to be married. He had waited, he had chosen carefully and felt it was time he made us permanent. While I understood it, I hesitated. Sometimes Mike knows better than I do. Please don't tell him I said so, it would ruin our dynamic, but sometimes he can see things more clearly than I do. What he saw, the future he was certain we would have was so clear, so strong, he was willing to gamble his life on it. He convinced me that we would be better off as man and wife, and I know for certain he was right. Today is only special for us, because it allows us the excuse to be selfish with each other. We have no dinner plans, no going out, no flowers or extravagant gifts, just us together, spending time doing what we do best, appreciating each other and the time we have. Saturday might as well be Valentine's Day , too, because our plans for that day are the same as they are today. As far as we are concerned every day might as well be hearts and cupid day. It is in our consistency that makes our life, our love one big Valentine. He's the love of my life, that man in the picture. He is my best friend, my confidant, my sounding board, my mechanic, my landscaper, my boy toy, my husband and escort for all occasions. He doesn't complete me, I came into this, a whole package with a bonus prize of 4 kids. He isn't my whole world, he's not my better half, he is not my reason for living. I think that is why this works so well, so seamlessly. He is my perfect match, the yin to my yang, the Abbott to my Costello. I pulled out the Valentine's Day decor and lined the our bedroom with hearts. There are more candles in place than at a Catholic alter. I will be dipping strawberries in dark chocolate just for him. We will shake all the fun out of this holiday, just like we do for every holiday. At some point he will wrap his arms around me and I will let go, sinking into him, feeling every inch of how much he loves me and in that exact moment I will have received the gift I love the best, feeling his heart beat echo all through my own chest.