Adult Behavior

I was up at 2:00 AM with insomnia, again. This not sleeping thing is starting to effect my motor skills. I notice my reaction time is slower than usual. Here is the most interesting thing, I find everything to be hilarious when I am this tired. I laugh really easily, at the most unexpected things, howling until the tears roll down my cheeks. I admit that I am normally a comedic snob, not able to laugh at everything silly when I am well rested, but now being slappy, my version of slap happy, I find the funny in most things.
This morning my oldest children, Christine and Dan were both up with me. We were sitting outside enjoying the cool nighttime air, just talking about life stuff, when Christmas was brought up. At first I was silent listening to them as talked about when we would try and get together as a family to celebrate, then I listened as they talked about giving a small donation to The Salvation Army and skipping presents since most of us are struggling college or post grad students. I sat looking into the faces of my children as they showed such compassion for those who have less, and such reason since our family is trying to make our ends meet. I watched them as they spoke the words I have spent my lifetime teaching them. I saw all of the lessons about generosity, charity and the true meaning of Christmas come from deep inside them. They have actively declined presents. They spoke meaningful words about not needing anything but time together. I sat just quietly listening to my adult children who have now become the very thing I had always hoped for them, kind and generous adults.
The other day, Tom had gone to the store with a ten spot for deodorant and shaving cream. He came back with only his bag of necessities and said, "Mom, you only had a little more than a dollar in change so I put in the red bucket." Nodding, I understood that he had learned from the time he was little that this what we do with our change during the holidays. "Thank you, Tom," was my only reply. Ingrained in my children is the importance of putting whatever money we have into the bucket to try and reach those who have so little.
Each of my children has displayed charity this holiday season. Each one has told me of their idea or their action of doing for others. Hearing my children speak with such eloquence, with such compassion is the gift they given me this Christmas season.
All I have ever hoped for my kids is that they see people, that they are able to show others compassion, even when maybe no one shows them any. I have seen my kids at times struggle when they needed to be seen and others avoided their eyes. Maybe that is why they are so willing to give without condition, they know heartbreak, they know loss, they know what it is like to feel invisible.
My kids are my angels here on earth. They are my reason, my legacy, my heart. They are out in the world showing peace, love and kindness. I will force them to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" for the millionth time since they were born. I will ask them to do it for me, because I love it so and it still holds so many wonderful lessons. Do you hear that in the distance, it's the sound of church bells. It seems as though my angels, my adult kiddliwinks, finally got their wings.