Temporary Glitch

I am currently unrecognizable, my face gaunt, with cheeks flushed red from fever, my eyes sunken and blood shot, my breathing audible with wheezing sounds and gurgling coming from deep within my body. My hands shake, sometimes uncontrollably as I hold my latest cup of tea trying to force fluids down my nearly closed throat. I am sick, the kind of sick I have not been in years, decades even. I am frustrated to the point of tears, real hot stinging tears that fall from my eyes leaving streaks down my face, wetting my shirt below. Everything on me hurts, my body aching from the strain of the latest influenza to wrack my already weak person. I was thinking back to the time I had knee surgery and I had to spend months recuperating. We lived in a split level then, with stairs everywhere, and I had to be confined to the family room, unable to climb even the few steps into the kitchen. One day I had to drive with my knee confined to a brace, I hobbled outside only to have the pin that kept my knee straight and me from agonizing pain fall out of the brace leaving me to crawl around in the driveway. I went from angry to feeling completely out of control and I lay on the concrete sobbing at my fate. Eventually I was able crawl around enough to find the pin and put it back into place so I could hoist myself into the mini van to pick up the child who was stranded. I hadn't felt that type of frustration until recently when I became so sick I couldn't work, couldn't do even the simplest of activities, even having to plan out taking a shower so I could lay down immediately after.
I miss my job, my friends, my life. I haven't felt great in about six months but at least I was functional. I am no longer functional. It pains me beyond words that I am confined to the couch, getting up only on occasion to use the bathroom, or take more medication. I am spent. I had always, prior to this, minus the knee thing, been able to push my way out of or past any illness or calamity that came my way, but this time, I am firmly in the grips of something much bigger than me and my sheer will.
I am whining, when truly even I think I have little right to do so. I know how lucky I am. I have a job I love, friends who are incredible people who would do nearly anything for me, children I adore and a husband who loves me, even in my current state. It almost makes my illness worse to know exactly what I am missing.
Being a praying kind of person, I have the all the time in the world right now to pray and I am. I am praying for my health back, for my family because so many of them are sick with the flu also right now, and my job, my beloved job that I will be able to return to it very soon.
My dog, Schnitzel has been at my feet for days now. He whines as he lays next to the couch, wagging his tail in great enthusiasm every time I touch him. It's as if he knows.
I feel the fever building again. My face is growing ever hotter, my throat is starting to hurt more and my mind is growing fuzzy. I know cognitively I will survive this. I know there are many people sicker, much sicker than I, so even as I write this I have some guilt about whining about a temporary influenza. I have been changed by this. I have changed some habits, been more aware of my body and felt more than just a little grateful for all I have been given in my life. The truth is if I were any sicker and unable to recover, I know I have had a good life. Since I know I will one day recover, I understand now more than ever just how much I appreciate every minute that I am here and how completely blessed I am with all my good fortune. Much like George Baily from "It's A Wonderful Life" I am the richest woman in town.