My Year In Review

I was looking at the calender and I noticed that the new year is only weeks away. It seemed odd to me that the year 2011 is coming to a close so quickly, yet it seems as though we have been in it forever. Some months crawled by as if they were never ending while other months flew by as if they barely existed. It's been a year of learning, listening and most of all appreciating what I have.
Last December I had a remarkable thing happen when someone from my past, a veritable ghost, showed themselves to me by internet. Stunned to learn that this person still existed, I was even more shocked to learn they had lived only hours from me when I had been certain they were they states away. Written exchanges were made, revelations revealed, and yet when all was said and done I felt no resolve. To this day I wonder why they appeared. Maybe there is no better reason then curiosity, maybe, they just wondered...maybe it all didn't matter. Regardless of the reason behind the appearance, I was left with dealing with feelings I had long ago shoved deep into my psyche, wanting nothing more than to have them disappear, never to be heard from again. But there they were, all my past bubbling up on me in unpleasant, unexpected ways, forcing me to deal with a past I find no pride in. I did deal with my unresolved bits and pieces to the best of my abilities, which I confess are somewhat lacking most days. In the end I did not get what I wanted from the exchange, and I then had to let it all go. If there is meaning in it, I have yet to figure it out.
In January, my eldest a college graduate was forced to come home against her will. Her beloved rabbit, her personal confidante and best friend was taken too soon by the paws of my beloved dog. It was tragic, accidental and I to this day cannot get the image of the limp and lifeless body of Tuvia out of my head. This brought the entrance of Jim the new bunny to our home. He is bright, funny, loving and a terminal 2 year old. He is madly in love with my daughter, reveling in every minute of her attention. Christy is now adjusting to her new life in Houston, making progress, figuring things out. Still very unhappy about living with her parents, she and I have had the opportunity to spend some real time together, which for years we have not had. One day in the near future she will pack up and move on, move out, leaving her childhood behind her, and once again our correspondence will be by phone or email.
January also brought with it my column, Dear Kellie, my life long dream of being an advice columnist, writing for our local paper. Every other week I answer questions from those who have honored me with their questions. Sometimes heart breaking, sometimes enormously funny, I do my best to answer in honesty and love.
February brought our family closer to the reality of having Michael move to Chicago, a move I still do not understand. The merger we saw coming for years, but the move to an expensive city was something we never really counted on. Houston being home to us for several years now, is livable. Our cost of living is reasonable, and housing is something most can afford. It remains a quandary.
March brought our garden, containers full of veggies, fruits and spices. We began planting our flowered versions too, with vines blooming in every shape and color of flower imaginable, covering our wine bistro area, a patio we created shading us from the hot sun.
April brought an early start to summer. The temperatures began to rise and the drought was on it's way. We were finally moved all the way in to our home and felt pretty settled.
May brought biking, writing, long sunny days and the end of another school year for most of my kids.
June came in hot and dry. We made our way to the community pool, I had my first radio interview with the brilliantly funny Brady, and we were making weekly trips to the library. Michael and I talked about how to plan for impending separation if he had to go to Chicago. Finding a job, a part time job became my next big venture.
July saw more heat, no rain and dying trees. Lake Houston had begun to dry up and I started my new job as a financial aid specialist at the local community college. I had noticed I had become more tired, feeling not really ill, but certainly not right.
August had me working full time, while the heat remained relentless. Kids got jobs, changed jobs, took second jobs and started school. Still very tired, I noticed a persistent cough, mostly at night and slight gurgling sound when I exhaled. Thinking it might be allergies, I ignored my growing symptoms.
In September I got cast in The Vagina Monologues at the college and rehearsals were under way. I worked in the morning and rehearsed every evening. I went to the hospital one night after having coughed up a sizable amount of blood, something I had never before experienced and was certain I never wanted to experience it again. Diagnosed with pneumonia, I began to see myself and my body in a different light. I began to notice things I had simply ignored. It was a turning point for me. I knew I would not take my health for granted as I always had, but would now start to be more appreciative of what I had.
October saw record numbers of days without rain, trees marked for removal since they were deceased and an overgrown swamp where the lake had once been. The play I was in got advanced, work was something I had to come to love and I had made a best friend. Mike and I went to Chicago and loved the city, but realized for sure what we had suspected and that we could not afford to move there. With stagnant wages, and my certain unemployment and the separation of our family from our kids, well, beautiful or not, Chicago was not for us. Halloween was celebrated with costumes and my new fog machine a I fussed and delighted over the children who came to the door. The look on their faces is priceless to me. With my usual fanfare, I decorated with blood, ghouls, ghosts and sound effects. The month ended for me on a high note of sitting outside enjoying my favorite holiday with one of my kids.
November was a bit more quiet than the other months. The only real thing that sticks out is of course, Thanksgiving. Turkey, green bean casserole, all the usual suspects, nothing more than a family meal, with all the trimmings. I call it the work holiday, since that is all I do all day long.
December found us doing more home improvement, in case we move, in hoping we stay. The kitchen remains without a sink, tile has yet to be laid, and the new stove remains in he middle of floor. I got sick, really sick again and this time wasted no time going tot he doctor. I am now on every medicine known to mankind. I walking pharmacy, filled to the brim with a plethora nasal sprays, inhalers, antibiotics, steroids and other such things, I now drink my weight in water, and pee out twice as much. The Christmas decorations are up, the twinkle lights brighten my mood every time I see them, which soothes my steroid rage. Tea is my drink of choice now that he weather is cool and the rain has finally fallen on multiple occasions. I still love my job, and Mike is still uncertain about his and where he will end up. I am still insomniac, some of which is blamed on my current medication implosion. I am not as tired as i have been in my recent past and feel very hopeful that the new year will bring me good health. Let's face it, I am due.
So here we are a few weeks before the new year. I have made more friends, gotten a good job, been in a play, written a biweekly column and remained in love with my husband. I have traveled to the big city of Chicago, been on the radio and watched my children continue to mature facing some pretty daunting things in their own future. When I look back to whole of it, I am stunned by how much I have done personally for me. I am stunned at how the time moves ever faster the older we get. I remain humbled at the wonderful people I now have in my life and how generous they were to let me in. It turns out 2011 was a big year for us, as a family.
2012? Well, if nothing else I think it's going to be really interesting.