Happy Mother's Day To All My Homies!

I just got finished with my coffee sitting amongst the jasmine and angel trumpet bushes we planted last year. I love living in Houston for the very reason that everything grows all year long with only the occasional frost to subdue it. We have night jasmine which bloom in the evening releasing their pungent fragrance all night, well into the morning hours. We planted several of them, so our yard has their thick, sweet smell that is so powerful our neighbors enjoy them also. Today is my birthday and the celebration is all about being in the moment. It's also about reflection and taking stock. It's my process. It's what I do every year. Tomorrow with Mother's Day coming on my birthday's heels, I was thinking about when the kids were young.

I do occasionally miss the paper project gifts and the half baked cupcakes, but I miss the time I had with them most of all. When I was a single mother I received loads of sympathy, people telling me how sorry they were things were so hard for us. As much as I appreciated the sentiment I believe they missed out on the good parts of being a lone parent. While it's true that I had to work more to stay a float and my time was stretched so thin you could see through it, I also enjoyed the benefits of hogging my kids all to myself. I didn't have to split my time between spouse and children. I never had to ask any one's opinion on what to do or eat or how to handle a parenting situation. I could put down blankets in the living room, put a fire in the fireplace, and watch Disney movies all night, falling asleep with them in a heap if that is what I wanted. And I did want that. I made our plans without any other voices chiming in about what a bad idea it was or what a better idea they had. It was just me and them. I loved having the me and them moments. Our house was filled to the brim with wonderful memories of us being together without interruption.
I miss holding the little hands at night when monsters could be under the bed and scary sounds came out of the house. I was their hero who assure them that all was as it should be. I miss the days when they would wake up running to find me for no other reason than to kiss me good morning. They thought the sun rose and set just for me. The feeling was mutual, as I would look at their angelic faces with tousled blond hair and big blue eyes.

What I have now with them is just as good as the soft pastel memories of their childhood. I have indescribable moments of closeness with my nearly adult children. They are not just my children anymore, they are their own people with individual styles and ideas. We now have mutual respect for each other. I watch as they become responsible adults, mindful of their family, country and future. More than just all the love I feel everyday as I wake up remembering how fortunate I have been, I like my children as individuals. I know if I weren't their mother I would still gravitate to them as someone wanting to be surrounded by their humor and wit. They are amazing, these people who have keys to our house. They promote the ideals I painstakingly drilled into their heads. They practice charity, honesty and integrity.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers single and married who have dedicated their lives to raising kind hearted, thoughtful children. If you have young children, take tomorrow to breathe them in. Spend the day watching all the glorious, ridiculous things they do for you and to you. If you have teenage children, take the day to allow yourself a moment to just breathe. With proms and graduations and banquets filling every spare moment, allow yourself this one day to do nothing. Lose your car keys, order pizza for dinner, and remind them that even God took one day off. Give yourself the opportunity to kick back and know that the beating your head on the brick wall will pay off. I always thought the perfect Mother's gift for mothers of teens was a helmet. If you have grown children, congratulations! Take this opportunity to revel in a job well done. I occasionally remind the children how lucky they are I let them live after they tortured me with childhood drama and teen angst. Buy yourself a cake. Eat it with your hands and if your married throw some at your husband. Why not, it's your day!

Whatever you do on Mother's Day, at least take a moment to feel a little proud of yourself. Parenting is the single toughest job there is. The swag is crap, the perks are few and the pay off doesn't happen for 25-30 years. No one ever became a mother because they were selfish. From the moment that child is conceived the mother's life is altered forever with endless days and sleepless nights. Take the day and be kind to yourself. Put on the tiara, your favorite bathrobe and forget to shower. Eat snacks instead of meals, drink straight from the container and belch your approval. Don't worry about what the kids might think, Monday will show up soon enough and your crazy behavior will be just another day in the life...